How to Find Gratitude Daily
The definition of gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
Feeling grateful is such an amazing feeling, probably one of the absolute best emotions. It causes a sense of profound well-being that washes over us, sending a message of all is well to our body. Practicing gratitude can be life changing, it has lasting effects from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. It helps us notice the little things like the smell of coffee in the morning, or the sun shining through the window, or a stranger holding the door. All of these little win’s, help strengthen our ability to notice the good.
“Feelings of gratitude trigger the parasympathetic, or calming, branch of the nervous system”-Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California (www.prevention.com)
Every day we are given a choice to find joy and happiness. Some days are harder than others. We can set ourselves up for success each morning by simply setting an intention. Who do I want to be today? How do I want to feel today? What do I want to give today? What do I want to receive today? It is also important to remind yourself that you can re-set at anytime and give yourself a start over. A simple smile even when you are super angry can shift your entire mood. It is good to remember we all have bad days, but that is all it is, a day. Forgive yourself if you don’t live up to your intention and try again.
Each day we can receive news we do not want to hear. We can let it take hold of us and occupy all our attention or we can just look for support from the universe and try our best to let it go. The universe has our back, always. This is so much easier said than done. Just last week I was up at 4 am googling things and I charge my phone across the room to do my best to prevent myself from this awful skill. Just last night I was up from 2 to at least 4:10 wondering if my son was wearing his retainers. I swear those damn retainers are going to age me 5 years.
One of the biggest things we can do for ourselves to help us appreciate the little things is live in the present, the now. Many of us (myself past self-included) are constantly waiting for the next thing. Once I hit that weight, I’ll be happy. Once I get the promotion, I’ll be happy. Once I have the baby, life will be better. Once my kids are a little older, we can enjoy things again. The list goes on and on and soon we wake up one day and wonder how we got here? How am I this old? How did my babies grow up so fast? As I’ve learned the hard way, tomorrow is never promised. We must find a way to be happy every day. We must continue to grow, even if that means out growing certain people, to keep living life authentically to unlock true potential and keep life exciting.
“Gratitude makes us value the future. It increases people’s self-control and helps reduce impulsive behavior.” (www.prevention.com)
We must stop living life check mark to check mark. Graduate college, get married, buy the home, have the kids… life doesn’t stop there and why should it? These are all chapters of our lives. We need to try our best to fully embrace each chapter so when it does close, we can look back and smile. “The days are long, but the years are fast”, I already feel this way, I can only imagine how quickly they will seem when my littles aren’t so little anymore. Finding a way to be present is the best gift we can give to ourselves and the little people who look up to us for all the answers. We can tell our kids whatever the heck we want, they learn by watching us. We are models for our children from the moment they lay eyes on us.
If you don’t want your teenager to drink, are you showing them how amazing life is with out alcohol? If you want your toddler to use words instead of throwing a tantrum, are you calm when things don’t go your way? Do you want your child to use kind words instead of yelling, but you find yourself yelling all the time? This is where being present really helps. Once you find yourself making these positive choices you will see how good it feels to stay calm. You will begin to feel grateful and proud of yourself. Staying in control of your emotions takes practice, this is where the daily intention can really be handy. If you can find the time, try a meditation in the morning with some affirmations or really any guided meditation that fills you will positivity energy, gratitude, and joy first thing in the morning. Insight timer is a fantastic app and there is a free version, I use the free version and find it very helpful. You can pick the time and they have 5 minutes or less for busy mornings.
We have to find ways to balance life. Work, rest, and play. I feel so blessed that I get to love what I do! But even loving what I do, I still need to take mental breaks and have boundaries in place. Technology definitely has some wins, but it comes with many setbacks. Email. It allows you to work from anywhere, but it allows you to work anytime. Find what works for you and stick to it. Don’t answer emails after 6 or 8, or on the weekends. Keep your phone on do not disturb until 8 in the morning or until you get to the office or wherever it is you do your work. Once we look at our texts or emails, our day has officially started because our mind has shifted to that. Try to find gratitude before starting the workday, it will make it a better day. Before opening the computer or phone simply say, thank you for this day, thank you for this morning, and thank you for this job. If you don’t love your job, practicing gratitude for it will help open the doors to guide you to the job of your dreams.
Schedule something special for you every month so you have something to look forward to. Mark it on your calendar so you can see it every day and get excited. Having something to look forward to is so important, big or small, have something. For those who actually read this on a regular basis (thank you) you know how big I am on exercise. Move your body every day. Take a quick walk, do a short youtube video, take a dance class, anything to get those endorphins moving and thank your body.
Help someone else. People often look at their success when they want to help someone, try looking where you hurt. That is where you can really make a difference and help someone. How did you make it through your childhood trauma? How did you get past the eating disorder? How did you pick yourself back up and come back stronger after divorce? How did you get sober? How did you live after losing your husband or wife or child? All our life experiences give us the ability to help others. THIS is the best way to feel gratitude, in my opinion. The feeling you get when you can be vulnerable and share your story to help someone else, that is what the world needs more of.
Always be the Sun Shine
Think about where you see yourself in 5 or 15 or 20 years. What do you want to be doing? How do you want to feel? What are you doing today to move towards that goal? Once you have that version of yourself, you can start to ask yourself will doing this help me get there? Am I stuck? How can I set myself up for success starting now? It’s the small steps we take daily that take us to the path we desire.
In one study involving nearly 300 adults seeking counseling services at a university, one group wrote gratitude letters for three weeks. The gratitude group reported much better mental health (compared to the control group) at a 12 week follow up. Another group wrote 3 good things that happened in their day and the cause of the good things. This group was significantly happier and less depressed, even 6 months after the study ended. (https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/)
Finding this balance can be a difficult task but I know when we approach the end of our lives, the things we will miss most will be the little things we take for granted now. You deserve to be happy; you deserve to feel calm and in control, and you deserve to live your life authentically and with grace to unlock your potential and find lasting fulfilment.
Ways to promote gratitude. Notice the good things in your life, look for them and appreciate them. Savor, absorb and pay attention to those good things. Express your gratitude by writing it down or thanking someone.
1. Each day think of 3 things you’re grateful for. EX: Nature, people, warm bed, a good meal.
2. Start a gratitude journal. Making a practice of writing down things that make you feel grateful will make you notice them even more.
3. Practice gratitude rituals. Thank your body after a workout, say thank you before sitting down to dinner.
4. Express your gratitude. Send a thank you note or just say thank you when someone does something kind, make it heart felt and mean it.
5. Practice mindfulness. Being present and mindful can help us take notice of the beauty all around us and promote feelings of gratitude. The warm sun kissing your face on a walk, hearing the birds in the morning during the start of spring.
6. Read a self-help book, a good one about finding your worth. (Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima, You are a Badass by Jen Sincero)
7. Help someone, this can be as simple as holding a door.
8. Need help, try an app Grateful: a gratitude journal.
Remember, You are loved, You are worthy and You are enough.
XO, Mandy (Brady’s mama)